I am frightened by everything that has happened to me for the past week. Every day, I wake up to wax hardened all over my arms, like I have been carrying a candle throughout the night. Also, whenever I open my closet to get my royal attire, small pieces of paper fall upon me. The horrendous thing about this is each of them contains an evil deed that I tried to conceal in my heart and they are written in my handwriting! When did I ever write these? Come, you spirits, tell me why I am facing all of these problems. If that is not weird enough, my servants have recently been giving me weird looks and I sense that they do not respect me. They are unwilling to communicate with me and I feel that my face, which is supposed to be the innocent flower, is transparent, revealing all that my heart tried to hide. Whenever I look at my hands, I envision King Duncan’s bright, red blood. Who would have thought an old man would have so much blood? The daggers, that starless night, my first evil deed…..they run through my head like an endless slideshow. I thought that becoming queen would just bring happiness, wealth and power, but if I knew this would happen, I would not have wanted it in the first place. Maybe this is a sign from above-my soul is unfit to inhabit this Earth and I may very well take this situation into my own hands.
-January 19, 1634 (Kishon Thaveswaran)
